So it begins this New Year

If you would be my loving wife Marta, I would be your loyal husband for all eternity. Never will I stray from the path of the light, for we both know firsthand the price of following the devil.

I would quit my favourite hobby of horse racing just for you my love... so that you may live free from worry. And my work days as a facility manager gives me plenty of time to write to you.

Yes, I inhabit a different body, but I am the same person who rescued you from that horrid life of a waitress to grant you a profession of honor and responsibility that I knew you would enjoy.

Our meeting will come sooner than later, my desert rose. Somehow, we will find a way. And I will be there waiting for you. And you'll recognise me a mile away :)

Finally. My wish a decade old has come true. I hope it is the same for you as well.

A confident asnwer ..

I allways wanted to be by your side , i loved you

but u were once married with a son , so i lost my courage to tell you my feeling for you

even so u tooke the bullet instead of me and u saved me and i felt my life was going to collapse

i never trusted anyone than you

u taughted me so much and i wanted to thank you for everything

but God tooke u away from me before i say that

u were very dear person to me the most kind men i ever knew

But maybe God toughted u deserve a second change on the living world

i dont care if u are in a different body or not

i want you , to be here with me

even if i have to search you im sure i will find u someday

in this world

I miss u and i want you .

so i will say yes to your question

YES i want to be your wife

I want to see the kind smile on your face again

Until we meet again

I still remember the song we loved and i still love that song

"Somewhere Only We Know"

I walked across an empty land

I knew the pathway like the back of my hand

I felt the earth beneath my feet

Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree

I felt the branches of it looking at me?

Is this the place we used to love?

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we goSomewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

Somewhere only we know?

Your last chance to say no, Marta

Dear Marta, there is something I wish to warn you about as your friend and brother. You may know this already and you can say that I am a nag but I would like to give fair warning of my intentions. This new year brings much new hope for us both and I have helped you a lot in securing a proper life for you yet what I do is still incomplete. I have not yet cured the wounds of your broken family and your lost friends. Yes I know what you are thinking. That it is impossible for me to survive that fatal bullet that I took to save you. The only thing on my mind then was to save you. You do not deserve to die. You have so many years to live. Please dont let her die, I begged the Lord, take me instead. And so it happened, and He creator of all mankind gifted me with this new body in order to continue my mission in this world, so rife with sin that such as I give their lives to try and make a difference against the forces of Satan. To show the world of Man that righteousness shall always prevail over temptation. Five short weeks was all it took for my return to this world. i have seen many things and learned many more during my eternal patrol. And most of the time in coma I dreamt of you. I know what you are going through and I am well prepared to fight by your side once again. Never have I felt so confident in helping you build a new future... But it is only courteous to ask your permission. Would you, Marta Alexandra, have this man who cheats death as your husband so that I might undo what wrongs that have been unfairly dumped on you? You know me. I will not accept failure. Nor will I see my daughter being ill treated by those who call themselves men but only in species. You are much more 'manly' than those moral cowards. Imagine that!

A new life for someone more than a friend.

Marta you had your reasons for rejecting me and I respect them. I am very proud to be your friend as time and time again you prove to be a mature and responsible lady who is not afraid to voice her opinion to defend her rights. You are a very different person from the time I met you and your current troubles with me arise from you exercising your newfound confidence and authority. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes and causing people hurt. All good leaders rise to prominence that way. It is through those teething troubles and through the will to presevere through those difficult times that you will develop your character. So dont be afraid, you may use me as a learning resource anytime! By the way we have gone so far that anyone who has an interest in social support would be amazed by how far we went. It is truly a wonder, the human mind that another who understands may heal it of all its wounds with time. I am not a psychaitrist but as my first and most successful patient I will remember you always. Yes you heard right. I believe that what we do to support each other may be used to assist those with similar issues in life as well. You may not notice it but your psychologist (me!) frequently asks your help too! Having experienced some of what you went through in life yesterday made me a cold and offensive person but you brought me back in good time and am thankful to have you at my side always. I will tell you now that the new year will be very different. I would also like to attempt increased responsibility to remedy the last of your current troubles but I shall need your help in playing that role. We are rushing things but we have the experience and the mutual understanding to make it work.

I did it again ......

Here i am again , writing this , trying to trow up everything that is stuck on me

its so hard, for me saying this things and see my only friend suffering for my mistakes , i keep doing bad things and i ...really dont want to be like this but sometimes i cant fight it alone like i used to fight ...when i lost my friends i toughted well now it will be hard and in the end i will die from my own mistakes and sorrows , but my destiny changed somehow and i must thank you for that , u keep seeing things i cant see my self becouse im blind from past where i was rejected by so many ppl ... after this months i could smile again and trust again in ppl .... i really know how is to be lonley ...and i dont want to be like that and kill my self ...

and i know to this days i have been to much selfish and i only could think on me and not for the ppl around me ....why is it so hard for me to realize that in time.. ppl say i think to much and its true some of my memories i cant forget in one blink .... and i really dont want to hurt my only friend that i have now .....the one who cheer me up when im down and listen all my dark secrets

i really ...i really dont want ....

i really dont want to lose my best friend .........i dont want to end up alone again without no one to talk .......i......i........

im scared to be ending like that .....even if u r far away from me u r still close to me here on the place i cherish u the most .....

Forgive me .......i may not making sence

i really felt bad playing on your feelings ......i should have told u wath i was thiking from the first moment

I just ....hope u can be still my friend ....

i have nothing more to say ....that was the things i couldnt say when i was with u .......im sorry

Thank you

Carmen you wont be rid of us so easily. Youre very dear to us and we need each other too. And I will never be bored of your beautiful voice singing in my ear. I know you are not comfortable with such flattery and thats why I shower you with praises. Youre really very beautiful and you should not be living that cruel life of your past that gives you this horribly low self esteem. That is what we are here to correct and we hoped you enjoyed your time with us last night. I would wait forever for the honor of your warm breath in my ear again, Varghese says.

No longer in silence ....

Dear Rosa , and varghese

i dont know wath happend yesterday to me , i realized my mistakes ...i also realized i was soo cold towards u sister and u my love , maybe i was having a bad day or its my tiressness speaking trought me , i was stuck on my emotions i couldnt feel anything or think or express my self , some part of me told me they are worried about me and wath i give for them nothing becouse for now i am a cold bitch i cant give them wath they deserve my head wasc really heavy and my heart to i was completly stuck .....

Rosa , Varghese im so sorry ...i dont want to have more discussions with my favorite sister and u my love im so sorry to i .....hope u 2 can forgive me in time ....But today after a good night of sleep i feel better and refreshed ,today i can think on wath i did yesterday and i could see how cold i was .....plz i hope u both forgive me ......