Thursday, December 6, 2007

Hand of Sorrow

Dear Carmen,

This is for you and Fai. Meaningful versus for our clan's past, and Fai's as well. And it was good to fight by your side again in today's patrol mission to Porto Bello. I could not have handled that foul place alone.

Long ago he was but a slave trader on the Cesarian coast who fell victim to our anti-slaver patrols and Florence Sivarja out of rage for human immorality just about enslaved him in turn. Fairuz would prove to be a capable mercenary under our service and proved himself a trustworthy soldier many times yet we never made any effort to forgive his past and saw him as less than human.

For 5 years he endured this torture alone never uttering a single word of complaint, then when our families met Vanda Shenmui befriended him out of pity. I was very angry, to tell the truth, my man being spirited away like that, never will he be loyal to me again, I tried to separate them both but they just found more ways to evade my security to the point that he almost never slept and gradually became inept in his duties.

I should have just let him go then, but I insisted on putting even more artificial pressure and something just came alive in him; we fought and I came out the loser and well, I had to let him do what he wanted.

I don't mind speaking for myself as the villianess here, for I am too young to hold a post of leadership. Yet circumstances demanded it so I had to put up a strong front and just go ahead and dare to play my role for there is no other who can lead our clan in Illier; to build a new world for ourselves out of the ruins of the old.

Imperfect as I am, I learn... and I have to give credit to you, Carmen, for guiding me on the right paths.

So.. heres a dedicaton in thanks to you and Fairuz. And also the Los Condenados frontier infantry unit - 28 our of 30 military families simply perished in service to the Crown in the Cesario campaign.

And I admit we left many good friends out on the vine to die - Falencia, Ithlandos, many others. I killed them all. Didn't I Carmen... I'm no better than those we fight against.

-Rosa

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Hand of Sorrow
Within Temptation

The child without a name grew up to be the hand
To watch you, to shield you or kill on demand
The choice he´d made he could not comprehend
His blood a grim secret they had to command

He´s torn between his honor and the true love of his life
He prayed for both but was denied

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?

The curse of his powers tormented his life
Obeying the crown was a sinister price
His soul was tortured by love and by pain
He surely would flee but the oath made him stay

He´s torn between his honor and the true love of his life
He prayed for both but was denied

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?

Please forgive me for the sorrow, for leaving you in fear
For the dreams we had to silence, that´s all they´ll ever be
Still I´ll be the hand that serves you
Though you´ll not see that it is me

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?

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